How To Handle A High-Conflict Divorce In Texas: Strategies For Managing A Difficult Spouse

Divorces are tough enough when both parties get along. However, if your soon-to-be ex-husband or wife is being aggressive, harassing you, or just being uncooperative, it can make the separation process that much more difficult. This article dives into some of the risks, as well as concrete steps you can take to make such a conflictual Texas divorce process easier and safer, including: 

• How to set boundaries and improve communication with your difficult spouse.
• The legal protections and barriers available during divorce in Texas. 
• How your divorce attorney can help you navigate the complicated situation. 

How Do I Set Boundaries With A Difficult Spouse During A High-Conflict Texas Divorce?

Setting boundaries can seem like a tall order when your spouse is constantly harassing you or breaking those boundaries, but the following steps can help:

• The first step is always to get some space. You both need to be living either in separate sections of your home or, ideally, in a house or apartment altogether. 
• Next, outline a set of procedures for communicating with your current spouse about everything, whether that is about assets, such as how to handle the bank accounts, or for child care, such as how to handle and time child exchanges. 
• It is important that you stick to the procedures you have outlined, even when your spouse does not, and document any problems. 
• Temporary protection orders are available as well, and can be extremely useful in cases where there’s high conflict or the threat of violence. 

If a temporary order is issued by the court, it will outline who is going to stay in the home versus who will be moving out, who will have control over what vehicle, and a location for pickup and drop off of your children.

It will also help, at least at first, to keep those locations neutral, not at one home or another. If there is a place (not a police station, those can be frightening) that still has some video surveillance, that is ideal. 

Finally, try to communicate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse in writing whenever possible. Apps such as App Close and our Family Wizard are useful here. They ensure that all communication is written and that your attorney can have access to those conversations easily later on if needed.

What Legal Protections Exist If My Spouse Becomes Aggressive Or Threatens Me During Divorce Proceedings?

If your spouse crosses the line into aggression, threats, or physical violence, you can and should make a call to the police and file a report to begin criminal charges. Doing so will offer some protection, particularly if that person gets arrested immediately and is taken out of the situation where they can harm you. 

In addition (or if there is no immediate threat), you can also file for an emergency temporary restraining order with the family court. Such an order will force that person not to have any contact with you. 

Finally, you could file a petition for a separate protective order that would have a distinct set of rules governing any sort of contact or lack thereof between you and the aggressive spouse.

Attorney Lacinda Brese-LeBron is a native Texan lawyer who has helped countless families navigate difficult family law conflicts, including a number of complicated divorces. Her cool head and clear values will help guide you through this complicated time, while her legal experience will ensure your rights are defended and improve your chances of a favorable outcome.

If you need help with your divorce, no matter how difficult, contact Brese-LeBron Law, PLLC today to schedule an initial consultation.

How Can I Improve Communication With A Difficult Ex While Co-Parenting After Divorce?

Talking with someone who does not seem to want to actually communicate can seem futile or even impossible, but it is doable. I have done it myself. You must be clear, concise, and, perhaps most importantly, kind, as difficult as that sounds, especially at the beginning of the divorce. 

You will also find it a lot easier to do so if you keep the communication focused on your children and always do so in writing. Writing things out tends to keep tempers under control, at least to some degree, because it gives you both a moment to realize what you are typing and read it back before hitting the send button. Whereas in a verbal argument, it is all too easy to just blurt things out under the most extreme emotions.

However, writing serves another advantage; communication can be used against someone in court if you have it in writing. As a result, written communication tends to be kept polite and businesslike, with less nagging, nitpicking, arguing, or even name-calling. And any aggression or threats included in written communication can provide strong ammunition during a divorce or custody conflict. 

What Is The Best Way To Document Harassment During A Contentious Divorce?

In addition to preserving all written communication (take screenshots if needed), you can preserve other key evidence of harassment by making police reports, taking videos, and recording phone calls. 

You can also keep a calendar or diary with detailed notes about each instance of the particular harassment. Those details should include all the essential details: the who, what, when, where, how and why of the situation.

What Role Does My Divorce Attorney Play In Managing High-Conflict Cases?

It is important to remember that while your attorney is your ally, they cannot always be your referee. Still, an attorney can often help you through certain tensions in your family dynamic. 

While a case is pending, that tends to be when emotions are at their height, everyone is upset, and the potential for conflict is highest. In such cases, your attorney can help by communicating between you and your ex during that period of time to allow for a cooling-off period.

And post-divorce, communication will still be required between you and your spouse, whether that is when splitting up assets after a decree has been signed by the court or during the co-parenting or visitation transfers of your children. Your attorney can help you learn the communication tools to make these future interactions less stressful. 

Additional Steps For Maintaining Clarity And Calm During A High-Conflict Divorce

When struggling to get through a divorce, it is important to stay focused on the issues at hand as much as possible. That can be helped a lot by finding a therapist who can listen to the more emotional side of such a life event and any trauma associated with it. 

However, those emotions have to be worked through separately whenever possible, not when you are trying to deal with the business of a divorce. And divorce is a business decision. You will need to add up bank accounts and other assets, getting down the details on who is going to have how much time with your children, who is going to carry their insurance, who will pay what support, and cover the cost of activities. 

Those are all decisions that have to be made with a clear mind and with as little emotion attached to them as humanly possible. One simple path toward making better decisions, especially considering your children, is simply to think about kids’ needs and wants first. Prioritizing your child’s situation can often take some of the frustration or conflict between parents out of the decision-making process.

Are You Struggling Through Divorce With An Uncooperative Spouse? We Can Help!

For more information on High-conflict divorce strategies in Texas, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (903) 865-3803 today.